Looks Can Be Deceiving

THIS IS NOT A SYMPATHY VOTE... just an insight.

If you were to see me in person I look like anyone else, like there is nothing wrong with me. Which obviously is great.. but doesn't always make it easy to understand the frustration of all the invisible symptoms. 

There are so many symptoms people suffer with, the main ones being:

- Fatigue

- Numbness or pins and needles in certain parts of the body or sometimes all over

- Balance and dizziness

- Pain and Stiffness 

- Eyes and Sight - blurry vision and/ or temporary blindness

For me the main ones are pins and needles/ numbness and the balance issue. I get SO self conscious in the gym that i'm going to look like I can't do things properly because I can't feel my right arm (I like to call it my Nemo arm) ..I drop things all the time! (It's quite funny.. sometimes). You should see me trying to cut my food or tie shoelaces... 

Doing my make up is probably the most frustrating and upsetting thing because I can't hold any brushes, draw on eyeliner or use an eyebrow comb... first world problems.

The same applies to my balance; you know that feeling when you've been in the bath too long and stand up or you're dehydrated and suddenly feel like you're going to pass out? I sometimes get that walking up the stairs or walking from one room to another...OR more embarrassingly...going up escalators in Selfridges and falling over (yes that happened).

I see it as motion sickness from walking...thats how i best describe it. 

Fatigue is SO frustrating. I tried going back to work 5 days after coming out of hospital (a bit stupid I know...but I was in denial) and I was literally tired from typing and filing...for someone as career driven as myself I just felt like such a failure. Fortunately my workplace have been incredible and I've now been off for 4 weeks to solely focus on building enough strength to get through next month. 

I'm determined and this is the most important thing I can say to anyone going through life with MS. Do it YOUR WAY...don't become defeated... know it's ok to take breaks and time off if you need because it just means you'll come back fighting stronger than everyone. 

:) P xx