Knight Knight

I’ve gone quiet for a week or so now which is very unlike me! Sometimes it’s hard to be a big ball of positivity 24/7. I do try my best though. Ideally I’d like to do a post a day or at least one every couple of days. Especially as it will help me to track my own progress as the weeks and months pass me by.

Last week I went up to Birmingham to scatter my granddad’s ashes around the tree where my nanny’s ashes were planted. It’s in a beautiful National Trust location called Dudmaston and their tree is within the grounds overlooking the lake..a peaceful place they used to visit together. 

My Granddad was and always will be my role model and inspiration in life.

I think it’s really important in life to have someone who inspires you and guides you even if they don’t know it. I can always find that in Granddad…He was a very kind, decent man with the upmost respect for everyone; a man with good morals and an incredible sense of humor. Personally I fell in love with the pure, true romance, he had and will always have with my Nanny. It’s something I don’t believe my generation or younger really believe in or understand. They met at 16 and ‘courted’ for a few years before they decided to get married. Military duties couldn’t break them as they wrote to each other every single day they were apart. There is something so romantic about waiting for a letter and not being available via every form of communication physically possible. When they wed on granddads return, they had a huge bonfire of all the letters and there they began their long and beautiful life together. 

Granddad's gentlemanly ways changed the way I saw how I should live my life and how to treat others and treat myself. I am a silly fun loving person but in a lot of peoples eyes I may come across as boring. I care tremendously about my health and lifestyle and I have big visions for the future. I rarely drink alcohol, don't smoke and wouldn't touch a (non prescribed) drug ever. These decisions on how to live my life are so important to keep me going now so I guess I was subconsciously preparing myself for this huge change.

He showed me that nothing is too great to overcome. There is nothing in life I can not do and it gives me such unexpected strength knowing my Granddad will never know I have MS.

P xx

In memory of my Nanny and Granddad, Jean Mary and Donald Joseph Knight.

Talk Talk

Over the past few weeks I have received some AMAZING messages from people being so encouraging and supportive. It really has surprised me how people I don't know and have never met can say such inspiring words. It's messages like these which keep me in such a positive frame of mind and give me such hope for an exciting future..

I really want to show my apprecation to everyone for their support and share some of what  people have said in hope that other people, not necessarily with MS, can take something from it and go by their day with a more positive outlook.

Here are some of my favourites via texts, Facebook, Twitter, email and old fashioned cards...

"It was truly the saddest day of my life when I was told [I had MS] but hopefully you can be positive and look at all the things i've done- got a pilots licence, travelled the world on my own, go skiing and diving, jogging and swimming, cycle to work, run my own company and work full time. Live life to to its fullest and don't think you can't do things any more, you can!" - Facebook

"I think your attitude is so inspirational, you're such a positive thinker. I'm a great believer that if you're a positive person you attract positive things into your life." - Text

"Reading your blog made me smile. You make me want to ROCK MY MS! Thank you!" - Twitter

 "Keep up the positive attitude, it's what will see you through. Keep setting yourself goals and make them when you feel at your best. You'll find a way through." - Email

As well as making friends with strangers who I suddenly feel I have a huge connection with, this whole situation has shown me what great people some of my pre existing friends are.

I absolutely would not be in such a good way after 5 weeks since diagnosis if these people had not shown me the INCREDIBLE amount of support going above and beyond what I could have ever imagined.  Yes I am about to put pictures of my beloved friends up and no they didn't have a say in which pictures I chose :)

JAMES MCCARTHY - 

My bestest buddy in the whole wide world!

He was there in the hospital, at home and continues to make me see the best in life every single day by acting like an idiot...every single day ;) He also makes my hair look incredibly nice..no he's not gay..he's a hairdresser.

RHIANNON JAY - 

This chica has been my rock! We are going to New York together in May and plan on taking over the world one event at a time...starting with the MS cake break!

 

SAMM with two M's -

Friends since we were 13 we have been through A LOT together and will continue to do so..MS is just one tiny blip. Samm is mad...she is also part of the Sanchez family and therefore we can not disown her ;) 

MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER GABY AND THE FAMALAM - 

My family have been incredible and so has mummy's bank account. No but really, however you look at it family should always come first. This is my number one priority and if it wasn't for my parents I wouldn't be in the best position for recovery. They couldn't be doing anything more to help me in my struggle with MS. Thank You :) xxxx

PERSONAL TRAINER ANTONY  - 

He looks a lot like this...is incredibly funny and we have A LOT of banter.. so much so that I think my work out consists of him telling jokes for an hour until my stomach hurts from laughing so much. 

Laughter is something I think everyone should have as part of their day as "A day without laughter is a day wasted." It make all the difference in a serious, potentially depressing, condition like MS.

Moral of the story.... BE POSITIVE AND EMBRACE THOSE AROUND YOU. You never know when you're going to need people most. Be open minded and appreciate what people have to say even if it is via social media from across the world!

P xx

#LFW

London Fashion Week AW13 

Like most girls...Fashion Week excites me :) I was lucky enough to be invited to the Brian Chan and April Banbury show by an old school friend Camilla. She worked through the day styling hair for the evening show and was so thoughtful in asking if I might like to go along for the fashion and after party. Well...why not! I like to take every opportunity I get and run with it.

I had a mare choosing my outfit as 'its London Fashion Week don't you know darling...yahh.'

Anyway, I had to pick something practical...no buttons...no clips or fastening as my Nemo arm can't do things so complex just yet!

Outfit number 1: Floral Print Capri's with plain black loose vest and KG ankle boots...

(photo's courtesy of mama Sanchez)

Outfit number 2: Black disco pants with full leather skirt on top and black loose vest tucked in and KG ankle boots

I wore option 2 as I didn't have to worry about buttons or fastenings just a simple pull up and down.. (thats what she said)

ANYWAY I had a hoot! The show was fabulous and the people were even more fun...I met 2 photographers who were so lovely, one even said they would photograph the Cake Break! and the other suggested he would photograph me...

As soon as I find official event photos I will be sure to display. It was so nice to be out! I did get very tired by 10pm so I called it a day shortly after and am now home and in bed typing away at 12.30!
The hardest thing was getting used to the balancing act! I forgot how much you need both hands! Water in one hand...clutch under the arm...jacket over the arm...phone balanced between the lot...Nemo arm not in use! It was hard. I didn't drink as I didn't want to worsen my symptoms and this night really was all about getting out, enjoying the experience and networking with lovely people; and I did just that :)

Off to bed for me as I'm starting to get pins and needles in both arms and I can't lose my left as well!

Night Night fashionistas! P x

Let's Get Physical

Jodie Marsh - just give me time....

I had a really pro-active day today however it has left me feeling wiped out!

At the moment i'm focusing on the importance of building strength and manipulating my body to regain all feeling as soon as possible.

I see a Physio and Masseuse once a week, a personal trainer twice a week and I go to the gym 6 days a week. It sounds like a lot but it's about getting physical structure into my life even if it means little and often.

Some days, like today, I go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for 30 mins at 5% incline and between 4 and 5 mph. A great trick to working your body without getting too hot or breaking into a jog/ run is to increase the incline of the treadmill. 

Some days I will come home and do my mini home workout consisting of:

Squats x 20 reps

Press up on finger tips x 5 reps

One footed balance and lean forward reaching out with opposite arm x 10 reps each leg 

Mountain climbers x 20 reps

Tricep dips x 10 reps

Plank 30 seconds

Repeat 3 times

This is great as it's simple but effective. It's working my balance,arms and even building strength in my fingers as this is a huge area of weakness for me.

REMEMBER: 

• Always do this in a cool environment
• Drink plenty of water
• Stop if you need to
• Eat AFTER not before..but make sure you eat.

If you struggle with your sensory system, feeling and control in your hands and fingers then my Physio gave me some great ways to challenge myself and also test my balance.

1. Interlock both hands with each other... now shake your hands out and try doing the same again with your eyes closed. 

2. Using a stress ball, (there are some pretty funky ones out there), squeeze as tight as you can making sure all your fingers are engaged with the ball and hold for 10 seconds. Then try squeezing repetitively 100 times. Challenge yourself everyday with this and to begin with use your eyes to cheat and focus on your fingers. If the message isn't getting to the fingers quick enough without you looking, help it along by using hand eye coordination to assist you.

3. Stand on one leg and using the other leg spell the alphabet in the air below you with your foot. This will get you testing your balance as well as coordination. Then try on the other leg. Eventually you can try doing this with eyes closed (I haven't reached past the letter L yet without falling over with my eyes open but i'll get there)

P xx

Draw Me

Some may not know but my 'thing' has always been drawing. I love the arts and find drawing such a unique way to express emotion or capture a moment in time. It's been a big part of my life for a long time and at one point I was fortunate enough to work as a Freelance Architectural Illustrator.

Roll on Neil Buchanan....."Here's some I did earlier"....

Losing feeling in my right hand has meant I can't even hold a pen let alone draw the things I used to, so i've decided to try my hand at stick men drawings. 

If you haven't noticed already, I don't take life too seriously and like to laugh at myself a lot. Please do bear that in mind when looking at these 'drawings'...I don't think i'm the next big thing making childlike drawing 'abstract' and 'have meaning'.

P xx

Looks Can Be Deceiving

THIS IS NOT A SYMPATHY VOTE... just an insight.

If you were to see me in person I look like anyone else, like there is nothing wrong with me. Which obviously is great.. but doesn't always make it easy to understand the frustration of all the invisible symptoms. 

There are so many symptoms people suffer with, the main ones being:

- Fatigue

- Numbness or pins and needles in certain parts of the body or sometimes all over

- Balance and dizziness

- Pain and Stiffness 

- Eyes and Sight - blurry vision and/ or temporary blindness

For me the main ones are pins and needles/ numbness and the balance issue. I get SO self conscious in the gym that i'm going to look like I can't do things properly because I can't feel my right arm (I like to call it my Nemo arm) ..I drop things all the time! (It's quite funny.. sometimes). You should see me trying to cut my food or tie shoelaces... 

Doing my make up is probably the most frustrating and upsetting thing because I can't hold any brushes, draw on eyeliner or use an eyebrow comb... first world problems.

The same applies to my balance; you know that feeling when you've been in the bath too long and stand up or you're dehydrated and suddenly feel like you're going to pass out? I sometimes get that walking up the stairs or walking from one room to another...OR more embarrassingly...going up escalators in Selfridges and falling over (yes that happened).

I see it as motion sickness from walking...thats how i best describe it. 

Fatigue is SO frustrating. I tried going back to work 5 days after coming out of hospital (a bit stupid I know...but I was in denial) and I was literally tired from typing and filing...for someone as career driven as myself I just felt like such a failure. Fortunately my workplace have been incredible and I've now been off for 4 weeks to solely focus on building enough strength to get through next month. 

I'm determined and this is the most important thing I can say to anyone going through life with MS. Do it YOUR WAY...don't become defeated... know it's ok to take breaks and time off if you need because it just means you'll come back fighting stronger than everyone. 

:) P xx

♥ Saint Valentine's Day ♥

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

Just a few sweet things to remind me of the loving day this is meant to be...

...while i'm at the gym having an intense 1 hour session followed by NANDO's! 

(hopefully it'll be a more romantic day than the blood tests and root canal I had yesterday!)

♥ HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ALL ♥

LOTS OF LOVE

P XX

CAKE BREAK! April 28th 2013

The wonderful Rhiannon Jay and I are hosting The MS Cake Break Event on Sunday April 28th 2013

We have invited all friends and family who live in and around London but would like everyone to join.. INVITE EVERYONE...This is a community event!

A Message from Rhiannon -  "The MS Society is a very important trust and is obviously now very close to my heart. It will be held on SUNDAY APRIL 28TH - It is also Paula Sánchez's birthday that weekend. The Loop Bar is giving away a complimentary deluxe dinner for 2 as a raffle prize and Shona Wright has started a wonderful business and has agreed to supply a raffle prize; check out her page for more gift ideas. Once the location has been decided I'll be sure to let you all know xxx" 

We would love everyone and anyone to come along and contribute in which ever way possible whether thats by eating cake or baking a cake we greatly appreciate every donation. 

To find out more about MS and the cause you will be supporting, click HERE

PS & RJ X

So Many Activities!

This one is in response to all the wonderful messages I have received on Twitter... 

Some of you have said how inspired you are by how active I am so soon after my diagnosis.. well.. let's get cheesy and say 'when one door closes another one opens'. 

Without MS I wouldn't:

1. Have a wonderful Personal Trainer who has helped me begin building my strength back and dedicated a lot of time and effort into researching MS and how to help from a physical point of view. Antony has also become my nutritionist suggesting I keep a food diary which we analyse and tweak on a weekly basis. I have cut out Guten and Dairy (chocolate not included...NEVER) which has been known to really make a difference to those with Multiple Sclerosis. I see him once a week and he has set up a plan for me all the days in-between. Some work out sessions I can do in the comfort of my own home too! This commitment and support has made me feel SO much better and is totally different to the support you get from family or friends. 

- Antony Christodoulou (David Lloyd North Finchey) 

2. Go to Portugal AND NYC in the next 3 months: Portugal is a treat from my family as i'm told I can't get too hot...so an out of season beach holiday to my favourite European beach town of Lagos is PERFECT!

NYC has been a long time coming...It's been one of those places I've ALWAYS wanted to go but never found the right reason or money...wellll who needs reasons now...'YOLO'! haha

I am going with my best friend Rhiannon on May 24th for a week and we have so many things planned!! Nothing is going to stop me.

3. Have A Manicure Every Week: It sounds so superficial but i have constant pins and needles/ numbness in my right arm so I can't look after my own nails..something a girlie girl like me loves to do. It also frustrates me enough that I can't do a lot with my right hand so for it to look bad too is just even more annoying! 

I've even found an affordable way to do so... A manicure once a month costs from £15-£25 and then all the weeks in-between I have a re-polish for £5. It works out perfectly and I always have nice nails even if i have a Nemo arm..at least it's looking gooooood.

4.Have A Massage Once A Week: This is one of the best ones... To get my circulation going I have a massage once a week working on my neck and back and focusing on my right arm and hand. I get an amazing tingling feeling from it which is great when i spend the rest of the week with no sensation at all..but this really is a great stress reliever and keeps me very relaxed after the build up of daily gym sessions. 

what i'm trying to say is; As well as the bad, there are so many amazing things MS has brought into my life..

5. Friends I've not spoken to for years have been in touch and I've seen a different side to a lot of people I've never really spoken to before.

6. I've met so many new people 

7. My family are closer than ever

8. That weight loss I'd been trying to shift since last year ;) always a good thing

I'm not quite well enough to go back to work yet but i'm building strength and hopefully next week i'll be there on Monday ready for my first day back

KEEP ACTIVE.. It means a healthy mind which is key 

Activities!

P x

Just Keep Swimming!

It's been a month since my diagnosis and i'm being over the top positive!

The first few weeks were pretty traumatising with everyone treading on egg shells around me BUT i'm in more of a routine and now I seem to be used to losing all feeling in my right arm! The doctors say the feeling will come back soon so fingers, toes and everything crossed as tying my shoelaces with my Nemo arm isn't any fun. 

BUT for those days when i'm feeling pretty crap... Dori knows best!

Positivity x

Lucky Number 13

Day 28 since MS Diagnosis. 11/01/13

I began the year 2013 flying back from Dubai, having had the most beautiful and relaxing Christmas with my family. A trip we had treated ourselves to to escape our first christmas without Grandad. He would always host Christmas and it just didn't feel right to have the turkey meal without him there. so off to sunny Dubai instead!

Sitting looking out on this view from my hotel room is where I wrote out my New Years resolutions... (the ones you hope to stick to for at least a month before giving in! Im only 22 I mean, come on why would I give anything up a my age!! )

1. Be Punctual! (i'm late for everything)
2. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week (make use of that expensive membership I've been paying for for god knows how long)
3. Lose weight through a healthy diet..basically give up chocolate.
4. (more of a goal than a resolution) ...GO TO NEW YORK!

Little did I know that in less than a weeks time I would be forced to follow some of those resolutions as they would be the vital key to living a longer, healthier life..

Unable to feel my legs or arms and barely able to lift my self up, Pins and Needles crept up my body day by day until I was unable to open my hands or even hold a glass. Within a matter of days I was in hospital having MRI scans and tests left right and centre and then the dreaded....Lumber Puncture.

The idea of it terrified me so much my anxiety took over and there was no way i would go through with it. Fortunately the MRI scan showed up enough lesions in my brain to determine a diagnosis...MS.

I froze as the doctor told me...anxiety took over again and there I was straight back in to the panic attack, hyperventilating, wailing like a baby..essentially making myself look like a complete idiot on the hospital ward.

As soon as I had calmed down I was bombarded with doctors and nurse and specialists saying they would all be there to support me and guide me through the illness. Honestly, my reaction was more like 'what are you talking about? why do i need a specialist? ill be fine soon and this will all be over.' I sort of shook everyones hands and said thanks and listened but didn't take anything in.

It's taken me 3 weeks to come to terms with it all and stop being in denial..which brings me to writing this blog. I have had messages from people through twitter saying how inspired they are by how active I am and my positivity so I thought it was time to share! Whether or not this will help other young people like myself i don't know, but i know it will help me as i'm determined to do MS my way.

PS xx